About

About Grappling Snark

Grappling Snark is a band made up of two guys, Cornelius Vanguard and Aspen Standby. It all began when Cornelius and Aspen met at the local Bass Pro Shop, both reaching for the same Redhead 4″ Drop Point Fixed Blade Hunting Knife, and then discussing music. Aspen got the knife; Cornelius got stabbed; the world got Grappling Snark.

Grappling Snark is dedicated to advancing several contradictory and internally incoherent political agendas. The band enjoys playing songs they like as well as songs they wrote (or are in the process of writing). They hope to play for you very soon.

About Cornelius Vanguard

Born white in the world’s richest country, Cornelius Vanguard lives with a constant and overwhelming sense of existential guilt, which, let’s be honest, is fair. He first attained a small degree of temporary, localized prominence as a founding member of the Muppet All-Star Cover Band. He then quickly withdrew into a semi-reclusive state for several years before reemerging with the short-lived all.ball. He’s pleased as Jonestown punch that Grappling Snark exists, and that you’re reading this bio!

About Aspen Standby

Originally hailing from the rock ‘n roll and pollution capital of the world, Aspen Standby nearly retired from music after his world-renowned six-minute trombone solo of ‘Colors of the Wind’ at his fifth-grade advanced band concert. He then spent the last decade pursuing useless non-musical endeavors. Thanks to Grappling Snark, however, Aspen has been lured back. He loves hats and is constantly inspired by the world around him, be it his mother’s cat’s heroic battle with AIDS or this guy.

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