A correct answer could get you a Lexus. We’re work-shopping our next project. A history of America that includes the racist parts. We don’t have to leave anything out! Aspen needs a new assistant. He’s 52. “Gladys, get on the horn!” “Who let the dogs out?” Sporty Spice is now. Prepositional humor abounds, but Aspen can’t hang. The Oxford comma RULES!
Granddaddy long legs gonna know if you smoke. It’s Cornelius’s special day. Silence is a form of content. There’s a gesture that indicates where you’re coming from. How do you compliment female coworkers? We’ve got the right phrase for you. We’re making it creepy. Aspen misnames Muppets. Cornelius does impressions–for the first and last time. Do you want to win the GRAND PRIZE!?! We’ve got the opportunity for you. Now, everyone greet each other.
Maybe Aspen has a smidge of talent after all. We insist on our favorite bit, which isn’t funny to others. People don’t get us. Maybe they’ll like candy puns. We need more Mikes. We read a children’s story with sound effects. Stop opposing veterans. NPR hilarity! Today our name is Grappling Snarkmerica.
Sausage making abounds at this sausage party. Aspen is a fine boy, but Cornelius has got to get the sea. He loves dueling pianos–as long as there are no survivors. Sometimes symbols matter more than actual things. The band has to dispose of lots of leftover gold. Listen up for the debrief. This time, I don’t mean Aspen taking his undies off. Grappling Snark has a diversity issue. Bob Rok has some feedback. We’re taking misogyny back! It’s a philosophical debate. School shootings are funny now?
Oh man, what will Cornelius do without Aspen besides thrive now that he doesn’t have a thousand-ton-cursed albatross choking the very life the very soul out of his soul? He’ll talk a minute while eating crackers and then play you a little tune he composed back on the first album. I bet a lot you players out there didn’t think we were gon’ come back at chu with this thing right here. If pictures could talk!?!
You better know what this one is. You better. It’s Act 2, ya’ll! In the first act, you get all the build up and deep, deep character development. In this, the second act, you get the exciting climax of our tale of love, loss, Nintendo, ducks, and cookies. Tune in, if you dare!!!!!!!!
As your favorite rock band of all time, the beautiful boys of Grappling Snark, Aspen Standby and the especially beautiful Cornelius Vanguard, feel a deep sense of obligation to conquer every entertainment medium known to humankind. Is that because we’re arrogant? Not in this case. We’re doing it for you. We owe it to you to create the highest imaginable quality content in every medium, in every genre, in every format. Thus we bring you a perfect example of what is truly the final frontier in a media landscape otherwise decimated by the awesome power of our genius–musical theatre!
There are big, big things happening in the world of Grappling Snark right now. Our IPO went through the roof, and we’re suddenly multi-millionaires. It feels good. But not as good as this podcast, which is not as good as OUR UPCOMING SHOW on Saturday, October 25th at 8pm at Silvie’s Lounge (1902 W Irving Pk in Chicago). Also, the first issue of our comic book is coming out page at a time on our Facebook page and our Website. Wowza!
This is the first issue of our comic. We’ll add pages as our next show (approaches facebook event page), so scroll down and enjoy! Click to enlarge!
It’s time for another episode of THE SHOW! Aspen shares vacation slides. Cornelius yells at him. He’s going to break down the emotional wall that Aspen lives behind. Thanks to our new sponsor–guitar neck t-shirts. Aspen hikes to new heights of boredom. Do you like harmony? Cornelius tries to get honest. Aspen can’t handle it. We break down the Winnie the Pooh cast. There’s lots of inaccuracy in the representations of mental illnesses. Don’t forget to come to our LIVE show at Silvie’s in Chicago on Oct. 25!